Teen Punishment
The question of punishment often arises when a teen breaks the fundamental rule, and what they have done affects others. Although many parents feel that the teen should face the consequences for their misbehavior, it is always better to explain what they have done and why they should not repeat the same thing. Hurtful punishments can backfire, and many teens tend to repeat mistakes with a willingness to accept the consequences.
teen punishment
You should mete out age-appropriate punishments when your teen misbehaves to ensure they do not repeat it. Punishments work in some cases but backfire in others. If your parenting style is heavily reliant on severe punishment, it could deter the child from learning self-discipline. Also, a very heavy-handed punishment strategy could turn a teen rebellious and make them resort to lying or hiding things from you.
Punishments are necessary, and they do work when they are designed in the right way and with the right approach. When your goal is to discipline your teen and ensure that they are empowered to make better choices or handle similar situations more effectively, the punishment you design will achieve its purpose. It is up to you to think of consequences that will benefit your teenager and guide them to display good behavior.
As the parent, you know which punishments work best with your teen because you know their likes, dislikes, and preferences. Regardless, here are a few common and effective punishment strategies used by parents of teens.
Apart from avoiding these mistakes, always let the teen know that everyone messes up at times but gets second chances if they genuinely regret the mistake. Help the teen figure out why they committed the mistake, how not to repeat it, and what to do to stay away from a similar trouble in the future. The key to this is to have open communication with them, preferably once they are done with the punishment. This gives them time to retrospect and also understand the full impact of their action.
Creating a respectful, empathetic environment at home also works magic in making teens behave well. After all, if they like being treated with consideration and respect, they have to prove themselves worthy of it too.
Disciplining teenagers with punishments can be tricky. They are not young children and are smart enough to find a way around your techniques. So sometimes, your punishments may not yield the desired result and changes you might be expecting from your teen. So this infographic will help you stay a step ahead with some tips for when your strategies do not seem to work.SaveIllustration: Momjunction Design Team
One of the best punishments for teens could be letting them face the natural consequences of their actions. You can also try limiting their privileges to certain times or assigning them extra chores. Make sure the punishment comes across as a learning experience rather than a complex task imposed on them (1).
Negative punishment for teens include yelling at them, screaming at them, physical punishment (hitting), and harsh verbal discipline. Instead of teaching teens good discipline, these punishments can worsen the situation (2).
thats not true, as giving out harsh punishments to teenagers are only going to make them resent you. they might do what it takes to get it back but if its an unfair punishment, dont expect them to respect you afterwards. there is limits to what you have the right to do as a parent. sorry if this upsets anyone here
She needs professional help from a therapist maybe medication. Something deeper is going on for her to be self destructive. Also, she needs birth control asap. I know these things because I was just like her when I was a teen. All of the behaviors you listed are text book cries for help. She feels no purpose to her life and is lost in the chaos of adolescence but she is still a frightened child. I hope you are able to get her the help she needs before she makes a huge mistake.
my husband and I are at a lose as to what reasonable punishment is for my 16 yr old daughter. This is the second time my daughter has brought her boyfriend in the house while we werent home. The first time was her first boyfriend. Both times they were having sex. The rules are that no boys in the house if we are not there. She is also not aloud in his home unless his parents arent home.
I am so sorry for your loss. I can understand how upsetting your son's behaviors are and can hear how distressing it is for you. I'm glad to hear both of your children are in therapy. Loss of a parent can be be especially hard on adolescents and teens, even if their outward behavior may not show that. I encourage you to check in with your son's therapist about this and follow his recommendations on consequences.
It's just not possible for a parent to take a cellphone or laptop or computer from a child, who is taller/bigger than parent. I was following the advice in this article (several times) and we always end up "wrestling". A teen kid will not just hand you his cellphone, he will not let you easily pick up his laptop, etc. What to do then?
My daughter is 9 (so pre-teen) but I still need help with a consequence. Around 5:15am this morning she took my Iphone off my nightstand and brought it in her room to look at her friend's parent's profile pages on my Facebook app. She broke multiple rules by doing this! According to this article what would a good consequence be? No tv or electronics (which she does care about) until she learns not to steal or invade my privacy? I need help. Something more specific. Thanks to all
Meaningful punishments for teens are important, but it is also critical to think more long-term and hopefully help set your teen on a better path. You want your teen to learn from his or her mistakes and not make it a pattern. Here are some ways to help your teen successfully navigate the muddy waters on the way to adulthood.
The temptation is such a struggle. You have all of that Christmas money and can't wait to spend it! Even as adults, we wrestle with how to use that extra holiday cash. But then we calm down and figure out the proper ways to put the extra green to good use.Your teen needs your help with that process to keep them in line. Instead of letting them go crazy and waste their present, we have three ways to help your teen spend their Christmas money -- a little less like a kid in a candy store.
One way they can spend their moneyThe easiest thing to help your teen with is how to spend that Christmas money. But you still want to help them spend it wisely. Have them make a list of everything they wanted for Christmas but didn't get. Then have them rank the items in order of importance. Pick the top things (or the top things within their budget) to buy with their money. Your teen will feel better about their purchase without the chance of buyer's regret coming back around in a few weeks.One way they can save their moneyTeens think everyone else is so old, and they have plenty of time to make money for when those things called bills start to roll in. But for every Christmas (and birthday), have your teen put just a teeny amount of their gifted loot away to save. They will thank you in a decade or so.
Screen time increased by nearly 500% during the pandemic, which means you may be naturally concerned about your own teenager's screen time. How much is too much and what are the concerning behaviors to watch out for besides the number of hours? We've looked at the diagnostic criteria and scientific studies so you can figure out what to worry about and what not to worry about, and what you can do if you think your teen has an addiction.
So, when we are punishing teens and not allowing them to fight back, we are not only treating our kids as lab animals but also as second-class citizens who have no right to speak up or defend themselves.
So the next time you want to discipline your teen, take some deep breaths. Avoid power struggle in the heat of the moment. Teach them calmly how to disagree respectfully. Focus on the issue, not personal attributes. Teach them a process to critically think through the problem to make better choices. Most importantly, let them practice making decisions and doing the right thing.
The "game of takeaway," as one teenager called it, is played by parents when their teenager doesn't play by basic family rules. Resources that seem to be most commonly denied in this electronic age are cell phones, messaging devices, and the computer.
Deprivation has a major drawback as a corrective. It is passive punishment because all that parents are asking the young person to do is do nothing or to do without. It makes no demands on the young person's energy or time.
Deprivation and reparation can both be effective punishments, with this proviso. After the terms of punishment have been duly accomplished, then parents need to consider the violation paid for "in full," which means they do not refer to it again. A parent who holds onto to past violations, who will not let them go, "keeping books against me" as one teenager called it, builds up a history of complaints that no young person can ever overcome.
I believe the best approach to correction, and punishment is the extreme corrective response, is a non-judgmental one. It recognizes that correction is criticism enough. The teenager already knows that parents are sufficiently concerned and displeased to take serious issue with his behavior, so they shouldn't couple correction with attacks on the young person's capacity or character. Better to simply disagree with the choice he or she has made.
Thus, rather than talk about "what a stupid and irresponsible thing that was for you to do," they make a non-evaluative corrective response instead. The punishment message they give is specific, explanatory, and compensatory. "We disagree with the choice you made. This is why. And, in consequence, this is what we need to have happen now."
The next day,have your game plan ready and sit down for a calm conversation. Find out whyyour teen was drinking. Maybe they felt pressured by friends or got drunk to copewith a problem at school? Listen totheir motivations for drinking and show them you recognize the challenges andtemptations they face. This is also the time to set (or review) your expectationsfor a zero-tolerance policy, and the punishment for underage drinking in yourhousehold. 041b061a72